My favorite site for killing three minutes is fmylife.com. I also hate FML, because everything is written by teenagers without enough life experience to even invent a decent lie. So, here’s my tribute FML:

Today, I’m at my bf’s house and we’re about to get it on when I feel the urge to make a shitnetz. So I go to the bathroom and my butt explodes so hard that there is shitnetz on the ceiling! I try to clean it but just smear it everywhere so my bf dumps me. To make myself feel better I visit my nana in the hospital. The next day my mom tells me my nana died from diarreah she caught from me! I killed my nana!! But I found out I inherited $1 million and I take the check home and see my crush is banging my ex-bf on the couch. in the butt! I am so mad I rip up the check. I got dumped, killed my nana, lost a million dollars, and apparently I love gay guys. I am a girl. FML

Today, I tried to write the ultimate FML but I couldn’t limit myself to 300 characters. I’m a professional writer considering self-publishing. I guess I really do need an editor. FML