Snow brings out the one-upper in people; any time you complain about some awful snow storm, some dick has a story about how they lived in the mountains of Colorado and shoveled six feet of snow. DarkRoastedBlend.com collected a bunch of awesome snow and ice pictures that will make you feel better about your winter, or worse, if you’re the martyr-type. A couple more pics after the jump. Enjoy!

A couple of months ago I featured Joshua Hoffine’s horror photography. If you’re wondering why your pictures don’t turn out as awesome as his, here’s the answer: David LaChappelle-like sets and budget. OK, Hoffine isn’t bringing in A-list celebrities like Chapelle, but he did an amazing job with a set to get one photo. The Chive has the complete set of pictures.

According to Edible. com, Giant Hornet Honey, when consumed, gives you a pick-me-up effect, strength, and energy. All of that may or may not be true, but what I know to be a fact is that this honey looks *badass*. This is the honey I would put in my tea if I were a superstitious Japanese mobster with a thirst for blood and a lack of apologies! Actually, this is the honey I would put in my tea if I cared to afford a $35  small bottle of honey with a huge bug in it. Either way, this site is truly unique and has an admirable mission of delivering unusual delicacies to the western world. See more after the jump!

LINK: Edible.com

The day is December 25th 2009, the time is 8am. Little Chelsea asked for a kindle, but instead got what she can only imagine were slippers that were meant to be given to her elderly neighbor. Santa screwed up again, and this time he’s going to pay. Next year, in lieu of a plate of cookies, a plate of pate smeared crackers will be offered. When Santa reaches the bottom of the dish, there, in delicate handwriting, will be a note that reads, “Who’s naughty now, bitch? Hope you enjoyed your Reindeer Pate!”. He’ll head back to his sleigh with the smell of his friends and guilt on his breath wondering where his harsh judgement and his list ever got him. The End.

Oven baked tarantula, anyone? No, I didn’t think so. Let’s face is, this is the gift we give the family member that used your own hand to hit your face while asking, “Why do you keep hitting yourself?”. That having been said, if you left me alone in a room with it for 5 minutes it would be covered in reindeer pate and in my tummy.

Today’s featured artist, Mark Allyn, uses clothing, shower curtains, lighting, and bikes as his mediums. He’s been doing this for at least 15 years, and his work, which started with turning clear plastic shower curtains into raincoats, has evolved over time to the work you see featured here. Unfortunately, he’s no longer doing custom work, but perhaps you’ll be inspired to do your own.

More after the jump.

My favorite photo shows the details: cabinet pulls used as beltloops. I’ve never, ever seen that before!

Up until I was 25 I bought underwear in packs of 6 for about $10. They were white cotton briefs: “tighty whiteys”.

Then, I discovered skid marks.

Surely, differently colored underwear would solve that problem–solve it like having a baby solves marital problems. They didn’t sell these fancy man-panties in packs of six, though. I had to resort to spending $10 on a single pair of Calvin Kleins.

$10 underwear was wonderful, though. I had a skip in my step and a song in my heart. I danced like noone was watching. My spouse was spared the skids.

Those $10 Calvin’s cost me thousands over the next decade, as I spent more and more on good underwear. When I became a virtual shut-in around the age of 30, I resorted to doing all my shopping on-line. I would never be the same again.

You see, I love my manties, but I don’t want to see other dudes in them. I’m not sure why the people who market them make me look at so very much penis. But they do. Below are a list of underwear I’ll never buy, courtesy of my preferred online underwear retailer, FreshPair.Com. For the record, the type I do buy are Papi boxer briefs, but they’ve been discontinued–probably because they weren’t sufficiently repelling straight guys.

^^ This underwear has nothing in the back. It’s just a waistband and a sock.

^^ That’s the wrong direction for a penis.

^^ A window nobody wants to look through. Also, he’s airbrushed to be smooth and soft like a woman. I hate it.

^^ Chelsea says she wants to serve guacamole out of his butt-dimple, and that’s enough for me to never buy that underwear. Or talk to anyone named Andrew or Christian.

^^ What the hell is going on off-camera?

^^ “OMG I HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT TODAY AND I FORGOT MY BELLY BUTTON AND PENIS!!”

^^ YAY I CAN POOP WITH MY UNDERWEAR ON!!

I don’t know about you folks, but where I live it is *cold*. Today it was about 15º F, and when I put on my hat to go outside I realized it was missing something. What it was missing were legs, a face and a history rich with feelings and instincts. So, I would never actually wear one of these road-kill looking creations on my head, but they do give me a good chuckle. If that’s too macabre for you, perhaps you can just appreciate the expressions of the poor fellow that had to model them. See more absurdity after the jump!

LINK: FurHatWorld

This is for all guys, and the women who will never again ask them to fix something: There I Fixed It. Part of me laughs as I scoff at other guy’s shoddy work. Part of me knows I’ve done some of these same things.

Like the time I held my hood down with a rope. Or the ’79 Mercury Bobcat that didn’t have reverse, so I always had to park on an incline so I could coast backwards from the spot. Right now, my computer case is open and there’s an internal hard disk literally hanging from it’s cable because I didn’t have a slot for it. Once I plugged in two desktops next to each other and ran an internal power cable from one computer to the other, because my computer didn’t have enough connectors. Oh, and I stuck a computer precariously to my dash because I was too cheap to buy navigation.

More pics after the jump.

I’ve taken a night photography course (by Lance Keiting, a master) and it’s hard. Here’s the thing: it’s dark at night. Cameras use light. I haven’t done much work with fire, but I bet that’s hard, too. Fire is hot. Plus, it moves.

That makes these photographs all that more amazing. They’re each done by different photographers-click the pictures to visit each photographer’s website. HongKiat compiled these and other photos. Enjoy!

Apparently, pranksters and hooligans are getting more charming by the minute.  I mean, is it really a crime if we’re all smiling in the end (except for the people who rented the billboards who are crying and seeking revenge)? Besides, a billboard with a pun that bad should be defaced! See more fun graffiti after the jump.

LINK: 25 Funny Billboards (thanks The Taco)

Gone are the days that men can be just smartly dressed, rich, and handsome. These days, you must also be sporting an impressive boner. You know what, guys? I’m happy about it. For years men have been ogling boobies. Payback! I am going to stare at your penis through your pants so hard you’re going to call your therapist for an emergency session. See more after the jump.

LINK: Vice Fashion (Work Hard Play Hard)

Natalie Dee will take your time, eat it up, make you think about eggs fearing their chickens coming out, spit you out, wipe you off, buff your shoes, and make out with you. So few of those things are true. I ruv her. See something spaztastic after the jump.

LINK: Natalie Dee

There is something inherently awkward about stock photography, but this site manages to find the most obscure shots to display. They seem to be relatively new because they don’t have many posts, but I’m already addicted and want more! See more awesomely cringe worthy photos after the jump.

LINK: Awkwardstockphotography

Here’s a better way to experiment with Google Suggestions: the Hint.fm Web Seer. We’ve done this before, but this is prettier! Here’s some more gender-related searches:

And one for the addicts!

The animal people:

And the nerds (prepare to squint):

“Distúrbio de Déficit de Atenção” (“Attention Deficit Disorder”) by Ryot Iras.

WANT!

I know I don’t have to say much to persuade you to love this staircase slide, but I’m doing it anyway!

First of all, this thing looks really well made! If Jesus broke into my home and sculpted a staircase slide using only a block of wood, a chisel, and his powerful love, it would look like this.

Secondly, time conservation. What’s faster than stairs, you ask? Staircase slide! Using stairs is like carrying the physical and emotional weight of gravity on your feet. Conversely, using a slide is like tearing through the fabric of time and pants.

c.) Safety! Stairs are a dangerous, hard, steep miscarriage wating to happen. Slides, on the other hand, only go one way.

5) The owner of this slide also have a fuse ball table, a fine white purse, and a portable cat prison of sorts.

]]> http://zingzama.com/features/staircase-slides/feed/ 0 http://zingzama.com/picture/melancholy-snowman/ http://zingzama.com/picture/melancholy-snowman/#comments Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:34:35 +0000 Admin http://zingzama.com/?p=420

You’ll have to read the entire paragraph. Sucks, I know.

Peter Callesen, of Denmark, makes amazing use of paper, bringing depth and meaning to the most plain and common of materials. His favorite works of mine are those that make use of the removed paper by showing a transformation from a two-dimensional silhouette into a realistic three-dimensional model. I’ve included a few of his favorite works after the jump, but I had to leave out so many incredible works that I beg you to spend some time browsing his website.

First, I think this is a picture of Peter (enjoying some ale while standing in a floating castle that he created):

And more of my favorites… I wish I could narrow them down. I feel bad rendering them in 2D, because clearly these works need to be viewed in person.

CraftyHedgeHog in gorgeous Burlington, Vermont has an odd combination of artistic ability, quirky creativity, and knitting. When she was laid off, she put her time to good use by knitting some unstuffed animals. Note that most of her work isn’t dissections; those just happen to be the most striking. After the jump, some more of her creations…