Currently Browsing: Features
Up until I was 25 I bought underwear in packs of 6 for about $10. They were white cotton briefs: “tighty whiteys”.
Then, I discovered skid marks.
Surely, differently colored underwear would solve that problem–solve it like having a baby solves marital problems. They didn’t sell these fancy man-panties in packs of six, though. I had to resort to spending $10 on a single pair of Calvin Kleins.
$10 underwear was wonderful, though. I had a skip in my step and a song in my heart. I danced like noone was watching. My spouse was spared the skids.
I don’t know about you folks, but where I live it is *cold*. Today it was about 15º F, and when I put on my hat to go outside I realized it was missing something. What it was missing were legs, a face and a history rich with feelings and instincts. So, I would never actually wear one of these road-kill looking creations on my head, but they do give me a good chuckle. If that’s too macabre for you, perhaps you can just appreciate the expressions of the poor fellow that had to model them. See more absurdity after the jump!
Maybe you’re a stalker, or maybe you just want to know what personal information about you can be found on the Web. Either way, you’ll be surprised at the information that’s available. Just follow these steps:
1. Visit the stalker search site: 123 People, Pipl, and my favorite, WebMii (shown above). They all did a good job of finding me (though some of the pictures and links were for other people with my name). WebMii is fun because it gives you a score based on how famous you (or your name) are.
2. Visit Google (or another big search engine) and search for the person’s name in quotes (for example, “John Doe”). If Google yields too many results because the person has a common name, add the person’s state, town, spouses name, pets name, type of car, interests, or anything else that might distinguish them from people with the same name. Here’s what you’re looking for in the results:
- Anything interesting about the person.
- The person’s employer (often names are mentioned in press releases or on the company’s website).
- The town the person lives in (many towns post public records online).
- E-mail addresses the person uses (you’ll see these in forums/message boards/newsgroups sometimes).
- Aliases the person uses. For example, if you find a message in a forum signed with the person’s name, look at the nickname used to create the message. Make note of it.
Apparently, pranksters and hooligans are getting more charming by the minute. I mean, is it really a crime if we’re all smiling in the end (except for the people who rented the billboards who are crying and seeking revenge)? Besides, a billboard with a pun that bad should be defaced! See more fun graffiti after the jump.
Gone are the days that men can be just smartly dressed, rich, and handsome. These days, you must also be sporting an impressive boner. You know what, guys? I’m happy about it. For years men have been ogling boobies. Payback! I am going to stare at your penis through your pants so hard you’re going to call your therapist for an emergency session. See more after the jump.
Here’s a better way to experiment with Google Suggestions: the Hint.fm Web Seer. We’ve done this before, but this is prettier! Here’s some more gender-related searches:
ATTENTION: If you are currently in a relationship, but no longer want to be in a relationship, you must complete your breakup before the February 1st deadline. If you do not complete the breakup before the end of January, you are obligated to continue the relationship until March 1st out of respect for Valentine’s Day. This includes, but is not limited to, providing a Valentine’s Day gift at least 75% the value of a gift you would give someone you actually loved.
After March 1st, breaking up is sanctioned until the holiday breakup suspension period from 11/14 to 1/14*.
* Not including mandatory breakup suspensions beginning two weeks prior to and two weeks following each partners’ birthdays, the death of a loved one, or the diagnosis of a terminal illness.